Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
