somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
