The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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