I need help removing her.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
