Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
