i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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