She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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