there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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