You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
