he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
