dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
