Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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