I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
