You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
