Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
