why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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