My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
