Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
