my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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