well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
high people should be assigned attendants
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
