I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ttyl tear gas
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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