His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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