The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
