Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
