So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize