butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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