Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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