Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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