If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we're making bets on your personal life
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
