tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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