Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
