Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
