I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
