I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
