from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
