I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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