I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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