Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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