i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
