You just made me feel so damn special
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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