Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
