Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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