he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You did what with his pubic hair?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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