M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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