My friends, they love my intelligence
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
