Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
