everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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