So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
