So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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