he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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