All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize