yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
