I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize