she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
His hands were made for my vagina.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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