he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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