I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
