There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
