I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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